Kristina here again doing the typing. Mom has been practicing but is having trouble because of her cataracts, we think. Whatever the reason, we have found this to be a good solution to the problem, at least for now.
Patty here. It is a family joke with us that I am in the habit of apologizing, perhaps a little too frequently. In fact, when we were making our arrangements with the mortuary a while back, we joked that the engraving on my urn should be, “I’m sorry.”
This habit is so strong that we had to come up with a sign for it a long time ago. I close my right eye. Looking at the world through my cataract is like squinting up your eyes and looking around. Everything looks blurry.
Alan here doing the typing now.
So, this need to say “I’m sorry” has become more and more needed as my needs have themselves become more frequent. I have aches and pains, possibly due to limited mobility. We do range-of-motion exercises to help with this. I get headaches and other problems that we think could be related to dehydration, so we try to remember to up my water intake. My appetite has continued to diminish. I am taking about one and a half cans of formula a day.
My neck muscles have been the most recent target ALS has gone after. On the rare occasions when we go out we use a soft but supportive neck brace. This makes it much more comfortable for me.
After my last couple of posts I have received so many loving messages of support. It’s like … well, now what? We have all said what we need to say. And here we are. It’s May and I’m still here. How many times must I say goodbye?
ALS is so unpredictable. There is no way anyone could know how long this would take. I am so ready for this to be over. I am sorry if that sounds morbid.
I’m sorry. This is what I do. I apologize. Who would have thought that I would still be here for Mother’s Day? A year ago, we were not sure I would still be around for a November wedding. When they postponed it to January we were not too worried because I had been on a plateau for so long. That all changed around Thanksgiving with the arrival of anxiety and panic attacks. The wedding was scaled back and moved up to December because they really wanted me there.
So five months after the wedding … and here I am. No longer at a plateau but still moving so slowly.
Psalm 27:14 says,
“Wait for the Lord;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the Lord.”
Kristina here again. It takes a team to do this thing now!
I will try to let up on the apologies and step up the gratitude. As I have said so many times, there is so much to be thankful for. My wonderful family tops the list. Mother’s Day was lovely. Mom was fetched from her “home,” both local brother and sister were here, and both of our daughters. Which was a surprise, because D #1 usually works a double shift on Sundays but they were able to leave early. We were just missing one son-in-law who had to work. I am a blessed mom.
I’m sorry. This is what I do. Apologize and give thanks. Working on doing less of the former and more of the latter.